Monday, January 28, 2008

Square Pegs

"Square pegs, square pegs, square, square pegs..." You remember that show? Yeah - I know - that song is going to be stuck in my head all day too.

I've been thinking lately (nearly burned the house down *grin*); soul searching one might say - not me, but 'one' might. I've come to this:

I don't fit in!

It's something I've always known and am quite satisfied with. For the past few years I've found myself straining to "fit" somewhere and I can't really figure out why I've been trying. I like not fitting. I like going against the grain, ruffling feathers, marching to the beat of my own drummer, rocking the boat, using lots of idioms... Really I have always been happy on the outside. True, sometimes the outside is lonely and often it is scary. Ultimately 'outside' is where I belong and where I am happiest.

I have struggled against my own nature to 'fit' myself into this group or that group even into 'typical' social roles - it doesn't work. I don't fit in my church groups, small social groups, large online forum groups, heck I didn't even fit in my Girl Scout Troup nearly (ack!) 30-years ago. For better or worse I'm just me; quirky and creative, opinionated (cough *understatement* cough) and loud, kind and generous, gracious and stubborn, smart and funny (sometimes).

My sister-in-law, who struggles with self-certainty, maintains that I don't care what other people think of me - not exactly. More accurately, it doesn't matter if others LIKE me. If someone likes me that's their choice - if they don't that's fine too. I don't waste time and energy 'fitting' myself into someone else's mold or idea of who he or she thinks I should be.

I truly am a "Square Peg"; you know what? I like it.

I'll keep you posted!

AmyDe

7 comments:

Linda said...

It's good to hear I'm not the only 'square peg' struggling to fit into someone else's mold. I've always been fairly ambivalent to those around me. I pick and choose what interests me and leave the rest. It's not that I don't care what other people think, but like you I don't need them to like me. I do need to know, for myself, that I've treated others fairly, helped out when I've been able, and have always been respectful.

Linda said...

Oops, that first sentence should have read '...not struggling to fit...'

anunmaker said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
anunmaker said...

square, triangle, hexagon...whatever. life would be no fun if we were all the same. And you are right, if someone doesn't like you it is their problem, not yours. Besides, you are a perfectly likeable person...what's wrong with those people???

Turtle Knits said...

Who wants to fit in? I was the girl in high school who went out of her way to NOT fit in. Trust me, you fit in with the people that count. You're special, no, not "short bus" special, you know what I mean. Hugs!

The Pattern Slave said...

It's only been in the last few years that I felt like I fit in anywhere, so I get where you're coming from. Still miss you, though, and hope you know the door is always open.

Carol said...

fitting in is overrated. Especiall.y if it means you have to change yourself to fit in. That is not what life is about. Society prefers to be able to pigeonhole people. It makes it easier for the politicians. but really, it's the differences between us that make society work. if we were all the same and were good at, ssy, knitting, then we would have waarm hats Until the yarn ran out. And since everyone was knitting,t here would be no yarn. Or food, or wood to burn for heat. You get the idea...